I want to feel a love unadultered... untainted by reminders of the yesterday i'd much rather forget... i know that can never happen if in my heart there swirls a deep river of painfull memories... i want to feel the warmth of love, to give and share... yet... no love can flow from the still weeping wounds of my heart... without caring hands to heal those scars i fear that there will never be the happiness love promises... when the beauty i behold inspires my deepest affections... yet... haunts so many bad memories... it must be her gentle hands to care, to heal... if this can not be, if she refuse... then she must let my heart go...

I have drawn the line, i need to have faith... faith in her... faith in love...

That can't happen if i believe that nothing has changed, that we're both still the same people... still doing the same old things...

Share a dismal past... yet... differences being, i have admitted my mistakes... i have tried to make good on them, tried to learn from them in the hope of never making them again, in the hope of never causing so much hurt again...

Unfortunately that can not be said in the reverse... far from it, it appears that i am confronted by someone who simply refuses to see their wrongs... who refuses to admit to their mistakes or see the pain they've caused... even worse... they've stood pius in their own self-judgement and refused to acknowledge the deep hurt i still feel over their actions and even make a token gesture of reconciliation... and apologise...

That's all i want... that's all i feel i need to begin healing...

If they can not apologise... show some remorse for their ill actions then what have they done?  Nothing but inflict a pain that still feels as real today as it did yesterday...

If someone can not admit thier wrongs... admit their mistakes and try and make them right, then what have they done?  They've failed to learn... failed to care...