| ∙Μâ£ϊçΐøũşÇąяčâ... 的个人资料Nathan's space照片日志列表 |  工具  帮助 |
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11月9日 I hear a lot of talking...I hear a lot of talking...
I am at a loss to explain how all these words seam so meaningless, so hollow...
I am at a loss to explain why words fall upon deaf ears...
At a loss to explain why i still bother...
I... even tonight am at a loss to explain what it is i am still doing here...
Seams to me... no matter what i say, the words fall on deaf ears... no matter what i write, the ink shines for blinded eyes... no matter what i feel, my thoughts find no resonance... no matter what i hold to be most important, the principle is lost to those seamingingly without conscience or care...
I only wish to be respected, my thoughts, feelings and wishes to be so also... somethnig even now i am at a loss to explain why they fail to be...
I only wish to be of equal importance in thought, in heart and in kind... something that i know i am also failing to be...
I only wish to have my efforts, good deeds and generosity to be equally returned... equally rewarding...
I only wish to have my affections desired as i desire hers...
I only wish to stand on equal ground... something i know i am being denied...
I only wish to be as important to her as she is undoubtedly to me... something only actions can show... something i am at a loss to explain why i am still waiting...
There are things i can not let go... there are those things that must be... that must transpire before my heart can truly be open... before we can truly move forward from here... how she can remain so stubbornly blinded to this beggars belief...
I can be or do many things... i can not be a lover at her convenience only, especially if i am still left wanting nor can i continue to do the things i do if the effort or sentiment goes unreciprocated...
I do so much... give so much in time, thought and energy... to seamingly receive so little in kind... to seamingly be so little of importance...
Something that can not continue on without end... for there will be an end... sooner rather than later... something i am at a loss to explain why she seams unawares...
Perhaps sometimes it pays to listen...
Take good care good people...
Nathan |
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